Workplace Transcripts II August 29, 2006
Posted by thomas in : xanga , add a comment A brief transcription of the reaction of my fellow landscapers to a young woman who passed by the work site, edited for language and content.*“Behold! What vision of Venus is this that doth grace us with her presence?” (more…)
Fatter Drivers=Fatter Cars August 22, 2006
Posted by thomas in : xanga , 2 comments Ford Motor Company is making its virtual models for use in car design fatter: wider hips, bigger bellies and fuller thighs. Fatter drivers means there is a need for phatter cars with roomy seats and lots of space to get in and out of the vehicle. “Engineers say if Americans don’t change, then the world must change for them.”We’re fat.
In fact, we’re getting fatter. In North America the obesity rate continues to rise, among children and adults alike. A Statistics Canada report released this week described parents in denial about the rapidly expanding waistlines of their children. Where Stats-Can reported that 26 percent of children under the age of 18 were classified as obese only 9 percent of parents thought that their child had weight issues. Although, all this weight gain is happening while we continue to set up totally unrealistic and ridiculous models of the slim, sexy and skinny as our ideals. Perhaps the ideals themselves drive the growth due to their unreality and impossibility.
Obesity is not only a North American problem, however, in fact it is being called a “global epidemic” as the number of obese people continues to grow in both the developing and developed world. In Africa one of the driving causes of obesity is the association of weight loss with the body wasting effects of AIDS. It is being suggested by some that obese populations will one day (or already have ) become more prevalent than hungry ones.
World Vision television specials usually feature graphic footage of a baby suffering from malnutrition in some mud hut, his face covered with black flies, followed by a plea for help, and a call to please donate now to help feed the hungry. But, maybe one day the footage will feature an obese North American child in some fast food restaurant, chocolate icing smeared over his chubby face, followed by a plea for help, a call to please donate now to help the overweight eat less and exercise more. I guess such things already exist in different shapes and forms. Yet suppose, suppose you were one of the starving people in the World Vision television special and you were shown the fundraising footage of over-large North Americans, sitting in their newly over-large Ford trucks, munching on their over-large happy meal, pleading for someone to please take away all their readily available excess food or at least pay for their bariatric surgery…
That’s kind of disgusting, isn’t it?
Next Stop: the 1980s August 16, 2006
Posted by thomas in : xanga , add a commentThe Hawaiian PI thing? Seriously coming together. Forget worrying about the future, my future has chosen me:
Thomas Magnum drives a sexy 1980s Ferarri. I drive a sexy 1980s Toyota Tercel (four door, hatchback).
Thomas Magnum has the first name Thomas. I also have the first name Thomas.
Thomas Magnum enjoys basketball and can be seen dunking during the opening credits of Magnum PI. I have been known to perform fundamentally sound layups (and dunk once upon a time).
Thomas Magnum wears a variety of bright hawaiian shirts. I was known to possess and wear similar shirts in my awkward pre-teen years.
Thomas Magnum has a friend, T.C. Calvin, who flies him places, can kick bad-guy butt and intimidate with his large biceps. I have a girlfriend who is a butt-kicking pilot who can also intimidate with her ripped physique.
All I need is for my mustache and chest hair to fill in and a plane ticket to Hawaii…